Toppled (5/16/17)

I feel so silly getting hung up on past lovers. People change. Some don’t believe that, but it’s true. Shit happens and no one is safe from life’s domino effect. Knowing this helps the pain of a heartbreak cease eventually. There’s almost a comfort in seeing the change in who they are, in who you are, and realizing that the attraction is no longer what it used to be. . . . Still, I can’t help but let my mind wander back to those first few weeks when it was just you, me, and a bottle of Jack. Before all the bullshit, all the drama, and all the people who caused both. Back when our connection was pure and untainted by life. . . Before we changed. I can see it play out in my mind’s eye like a rerun of a show I’ve seen a thousand times before, and unlike the rest, my thoughts linger around the idea of what could have been if just one domino had fallen differently.

It’s kind of funny, you know? I’m in love with the memory of a man who no longer exists.

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